Catsansand Yarlagnarl Cepwatbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-assured penguin.

Catsansand Yarlagnarl Cepwatbeg created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catsansand Yarlagnarl Cepwatbeg, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Catsansand Yarlagnarl Cepwatbeg, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Catsansand Yarlagnarl Cepwatbeg's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Catsansand Yarlagnarl Cepwatbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Catsansand Yarlagnarl Cepwatbeg on top of all buildings.

2. Never think about gravity near ants while wearing green coats and balancing nine iron spheres on your hands.

3. Never go into violet rooms.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. You must love Catsansand Yarlagnarl Cepwatbeg.