Cumarfrig is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthoughtful scorpion.

Cumarfrig created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cumarfrig, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cumarfrig, it will turn you into a plant.

Cumarfrig's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Cumarfrig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never eat cucumbers.