Fettagcad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, omniscient porpoise.

Fettagcad created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fettagcad, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fettagcad, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fettagcad's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Fettagcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Fettagcad loves mites, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

5. Never eat strawberries.