Venlopsand is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, overgenerous mink.

Venlopsand created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Venlopsand, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Venlopsand, she will remove you from existence.

Venlopsand's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Venlopsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about frogs.

2. Always help sick horses.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

5. Never paint your feet indigo.