Arndadbepcutflyhak Dibnarzig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unjust whale.

Arndadbepcutflyhak Dibnarzig created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Arndadbepcutflyhak Dibnarzig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Arndadbepcutflyhak Dibnarzig, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Arndadbepcutflyhak Dibnarzig's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Arndadbepcutflyhak Dibnarzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve ear rings.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near pigs while wearing magenta dresses and balancing eight tin spheres on your feet.

3. Never mention swans.

4. You must pray to Arndadbepcutflyhak Dibnarzig nine times a day.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.