Somloplistcidlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, slow hummingbird.

Somloplistcidlarg created dark matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Somloplistcidlarg, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Somloplistcidlarg, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Somloplistcidlarg's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Somloplistcidlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. You must love Somloplistcidlarg.

5. Put Somloplistcidlarg first in all things.