Butkiptal Sogzimfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, witless wombat.

Butkiptal Sogzimfarn created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butkiptal Sogzimfarn, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Butkiptal Sogzimfarn, he will boil you in a big pot.

Butkiptal Sogzimfarn's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Butkiptal Sogzimfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Put Butkiptal Sogzimfarn first in all things.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.