Padtadbat is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, selfish elephant.

Padtadbat created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padtadbat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Padtadbat, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Padtadbat's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Padtadbat's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always treat horses with great respect.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Padtadbat.