Sab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, amazing grasshopper.

Sab created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sab, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sab, it will refuse to believe in you.

Sab's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Sab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention cats.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near snails while wearing turquoise skirts and balancing nine iron spheres on your arms.

3. Never hop in the presence of seals.

4. Never write about special relativity.

5. Never talk about photosynthesis.