Lipwancim Kimbonksig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, idiotic bat.

Lipwancim Kimbonksig created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipwancim Kimbonksig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lipwancim Kimbonksig, it will turn you into a slug.

Lipwancim Kimbonksig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Lipwancim Kimbonksig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Lipwancim Kimbonksig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Lipwancim Kimbonksig loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics.

5. Do not hop in public.