Fennulkik is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, happy monkey.

Fennulkik created the Sun seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fennulkik, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fennulkik, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fennulkik's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Fennulkik's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four silver sculptures of Fennulkik on top of important buildings.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not hurt tortoises.

5. Do not stand on grass.