Flagingbess is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciless elephant.

Flagingbess created the Small Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagingbess, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flagingbess, she will ignore you.

Flagingbess' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Flagingbess' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Run away if nine cats approach from the north.

4. Worship no other gods but Flagingbess.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.