Hogbimnad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, blissful hyena.

Hogbimnad created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hogbimnad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hogbimnad, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hogbimnad's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Hogbimnad's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hogbimnad.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.