Capnurtgut Quimhatsand is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, grumpy ferret.

Capnurtgut Quimhatsand created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Capnurtgut Quimhatsand, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Capnurtgut Quimhatsand, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Capnurtgut Quimhatsand's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Capnurtgut Quimhatsand's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are not to be trusted.

2. Never hurt grasshopers.

3. Hide if eight rats approach from the east.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Capnurtgut Quimhatsand.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.