Yarlbenjon is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unthinking eagle.

Yarlbenjon created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlbenjon, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarlbenjon, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Yarlbenjon's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Yarlbenjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help doves in need.

2. Never talk about monkeys.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Do not cook food in pots.