Kimhoncen is a god.

He takes the form of a small, almighty badger.

Kimhoncen created the planet Jupiter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimhoncen, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kimhoncen, he will make you grow a tail.

Kimhoncen's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Kimhoncen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sheep.

2. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

3. Never feed wheat to snakes while wearing ear rings.

4. Always obey Kimhoncen's priests.

5. Do not eat onions.