Hapbemlop is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, deceitful badger.

Hapbemlop created life nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapbemlop, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hapbemlop, she will destroy your home planet.

Hapbemlop's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Hapbemlop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about cats.