Panyimtarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent snail.

Panyimtarp created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Panyimtarp, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Panyimtarp, she will throw large rocks at you.

Panyimtarp's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Panyimtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Panyimtarp in the centre of the settlement.

2. You must pray to Panyimtarp four times a day.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never wear purple trousers.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.