Narlmetquag is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, amazing bat.

Narlmetquag created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlmetquag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Narlmetquag, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Narlmetquag's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Narlmetquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Always help sick tortoises.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never paint your chest pink.
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