Shavzodmil is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unsympathetic tapir.

Shavzodmil created the planet Venus three million years ago.

If you believe in Shavzodmil, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Shavzodmil, he will think nothing of it.

Shavzodmil's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Shavzodmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. You must never eat limes.

5. Never eat bark.