Tailjabvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, loving sheep.

Tailjabvonk created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailjabvonk, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tailjabvonk, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tailjabvonk's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tailjabvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Never wear kilts.

4. Do not kill goats.

5. Retreat if six great tits approach from the west.