Nuttwitpin is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, self-assured finch.

Nuttwitpin created the Virgo Supercluster nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttwitpin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nuttwitpin, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Nuttwitpin's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Nuttwitpin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight cats approach from the south.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.