Zenvollad is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonest centipede.

Zenvollad created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenvollad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zenvollad, she will try to impress you with trees.

Zenvollad's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Zenvollad's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zenvollad first in all things.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not shave your back.