Henzimyarllarg is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy squirrel.

Henzimyarllarg created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Henzimyarllarg, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Henzimyarllarg, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Henzimyarllarg's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Henzimyarllarg's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Henzimyarllarg.

2. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never wear coats.