Jinmutzen is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unjust gnu.

Jinmutzen created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Jinmutzen, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jinmutzen, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jinmutzen's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Jinmutzen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

4. Never talk about goats.

5. Worship no other gods but Jinmutzen.