Pinstafdoglak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, confident newt.

Pinstafdoglak created bats five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pinstafdoglak, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pinstafdoglak, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pinstafdoglak's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Pinstafdoglak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

2. Always help ducks in need.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Pinstafdoglak.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Always take life seriously.