Pakweelik is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, conceited owl.

Pakweelik created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakweelik, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pakweelik, it will be very unhappy.

Pakweelik's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Pakweelik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Never feed lots of limes to birds while wearing fawn hats.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think ill of sick turtles.