Flagmifvabvad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, stupid porpoise.

Flagmifvabvad created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flagmifvabvad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flagmifvabvad, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Flagmifvabvad's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Flagmifvabvad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not take Flagmifvabvad's name in vain.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.