Zakbastcinstig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful cow.

Zakbastcinstig created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zakbastcinstig, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zakbastcinstig, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Zakbastcinstig's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Zakbastcinstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Feed all hungry horses.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory.

5. Never look at asteroids.