Futlanged is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, charitable raven.

Futlanged created the solar system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futlanged, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Futlanged, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Futlanged's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Futlanged's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never run in the presence of mites.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always obey Futlanged's priests.