Kabponkop is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, blissful alligator.

Kabponkop created the planet Jupiter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabponkop, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kabponkop, she will turn you into a rat.

Kabponkop's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Kabponkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Never write about solid mechanics.

3. Do not hurt swans.

4. Never wear mauve hats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.