Voggofjen is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tranquil tapir.

Voggofjen created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Voggofjen, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Voggofjen, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Voggofjen's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Voggofjen's Holy Commandments

1. Put Voggofjen first in all things.

2. Rats are not to be trusted.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Voggofjen loves great tits, so they must be honoured.