Vedfabwan is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, uncaring spider.

Vedfabwan created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedfabwan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vedfabwan, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vedfabwan's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Vedfabwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near monkeys while wearing cyan shirts and balancing three zinc spheres on your legs.

2. You must pray to Vedfabwan six times a day.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Vedfabwan in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not keep four birds in a large pit.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.