Arnfonhotjat is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, staggering yak.

Arnfonhotjat created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnfonhotjat, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Arnfonhotjat, he will have a low opinion of you.

Arnfonhotjat's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Arnfonhotjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Never jump near seals.

4. Always obey Arnfonhotjat's priests.

5. Never write about quantum gravity.