Quimbenlit is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, idiotic fox.

Quimbenlit created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimbenlit, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quimbenlit, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Quimbenlit's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Quimbenlit's Holy Commandments

1. Quimbenlit must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quimbenlit.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

5. Never look at stars.