Tafbitdappas Legnellist Zodmidcimflatnilfutpak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonourable badger.

Tafbitdappas Legnellist Zodmidcimflatnilfutpak created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Tafbitdappas Legnellist Zodmidcimflatnilfutpak, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tafbitdappas Legnellist Zodmidcimflatnilfutpak, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tafbitdappas Legnellist Zodmidcimflatnilfutpak's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Tafbitdappas Legnellist Zodmidcimflatnilfutpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine birds in a large pit.

2. Never eat bananas.

3. Tafbitdappas Legnellist Zodmidcimflatnilfutpak loves otters, so they must be honoured.

4. Tafbitdappas Legnellist Zodmidcimflatnilfutpak loves whales, so they must be respected.

5. Always help cats.