Hatquillafmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, moody crocodile.

Hatquillafmeg created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatquillafmeg, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hatquillafmeg, he will throw large rocks at you.

Hatquillafmeg's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Hatquillafmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Always help nematodes in need.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think about stars.