Ruttlapxen is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, compassionate manatee.

Ruttlapxen created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttlapxen, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ruttlapxen, he will turn you into a mouse.

Ruttlapxen's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Ruttlapxen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven lead sculptures of Ruttlapxen on top of important buildings.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not hurt aardvarks.

4. Ruttlapxen must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Ruttlapxen loves swans, so they must be respected.