Jamwatbop is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, omnipotent mongoose.

Jamwatbop created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamwatbop, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jamwatbop, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Jamwatbop's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Jamwatbop's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jamwatbop.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. You must love Jamwatbop.
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