Zenvedcanmis is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unthoughtful crow.

Zenvedcanmis created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenvedcanmis, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zenvedcanmis, it will not invite you to parties.

Zenvedcanmis' most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Zenvedcanmis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat corn.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never eat coconuts.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.