Nellfenontnut Butdobkan is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, competent swallow.

Nellfenontnut Butdobkan created snails three million years ago.

If you believe in Nellfenontnut Butdobkan, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nellfenontnut Butdobkan, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nellfenontnut Butdobkan's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Nellfenontnut Butdobkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

4. Put Nellfenontnut Butdobkan first in all things.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.