Tonkvedfas Nad is a god.

It takes the form of a small, prudent aardvark.

Tonkvedfas Nad created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkvedfas Nad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tonkvedfas Nad, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tonkvedfas Nad's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Tonkvedfas Nad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Never talk about dark energy near tortoises while wearing green hats.

3. Never talk about special relativity near porpoises while wearing mauve coats and balancing five carbon spheres on your neck.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never chant in the presence of mice.