Tarpabfet is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, selfish squirrel.

Tarpabfet created the Large Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpabfet, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tarpabfet, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Tarpabfet's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Tarpabfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lentils.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.