Yarpgubstip is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, ill-tempered tapir.

Yarpgubstip created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpgubstip, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarpgubstip, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yarpgubstip's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Yarpgubstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of goats.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

4. Run away from pink manatees, for they are unholy.

5. Respect your elders.