Haskadmap Cebyaklag is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, deceitful dove.

Haskadmap Cebyaklag created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haskadmap Cebyaklag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Haskadmap Cebyaklag, he will jump up and down on your head.

Haskadmap Cebyaklag's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Haskadmap Cebyaklag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet dolphins, for they are unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Haskadmap Cebyaklag.

3. Always help rats in need.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Haskadmap Cebyaklag on top of all buildings.