Taffentarp is a god.
She takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful
tapir.
Taffentarp created dark energy two years ago.
If you believe in
Taffentarp, she will give you lots of grapes.
If you do not believe in
Taffentarp, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.
Taffentarp's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.
Taffentarp's Holy Commandments1. Do not jump in public.
2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.
3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.
4. Never write about black holes.
5. Do not drink water in red rooms.