Tettiladbessmad is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, witty camel.

Tettiladbessmad created the Sombrero Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettiladbessmad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tettiladbessmad, she will be mildly annoyed.

Tettiladbessmad's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Tettiladbessmad's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tettiladbessmad first in all things.

2. Never paint your arms brown.

3. Never think about dark matter near turtles while wearing white scarves and balancing seven tin spheres on your head.

4. Do not kill seals.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.