Cabcambag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unsympathetic octopus.

Cabcambag created silver five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cabcambag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cabcambag, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cabcambag's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cabcambag's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near sheep while wearing magenta scarves and balancing six zinc spheres on your feet.

3. Never paint your arms purple.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never eat strawberries.