Somken is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, tiresome dingo.

Somken created silver four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somken, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Somken, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Somken's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Somken's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never mention monkeys.