Midgamzim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, pitiless aardvark.

Midgamzim created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midgamzim, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Midgamzim, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Midgamzim's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Midgamzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about spacetime.

4. Always treat swans with great respect.

5. Never sprint in holy places.